If I Knew Then
by brezoflower
Summary: SasuSaku, NaruSaku Everyone is dead, including Sasuke. Eighteen and about to kill herself, Sakura is overwhelmed by the Kyuubi's chakra. When she wakes up, she is twelve again, and has the chance to change...everything. Well, let's start with Sasuke.
1. Sent Back

AN: Yes, another project that I've started. For all those who thought Sakura should be a kick-ass kunoichi in the series. Maybe now she'll win Sasuke's attention…or someone else's?

If I Knew Then (What I Know Now)

_We didn't get to him in time. _

Sasuke had managed to keep Orochimaru from taking his body for a year after he was ready. But by the time Sakura and Naruto had arrived to stop him, Orochimaru had transferred. The sadistic grin that had spread across their former teammate's face when they had burst into the room had broken her heart, because it was all over. Everything they had worked towards, everything they had dedicated the past four years to…

Gone.

The Sasuke they knew was never coming back.

Orochimaru stayed in Sasuke's body for a year. As a small favor to Sasuke, he killed Itachi, and Sasuke's consciousness finally stopped fighting him. Technically, his objective was achieved, since it was his own body that had done it. But the strain had become too great. Exactly a year after the body transfer, both Orochimaru and the last of Sasuke's remaining consciousness perished.

Sakura's world came crashing down the day she heard the news.

She knew that once Orochimaru had taken the body, Sasuke was out of their reach. She knew that not even a forbidden jutsu could yank him away from Orochimaru. She knew this, and yet a small part of her had foolishly kept hope, hope that maybe someone would discover a solution, a miracle. That same naïve innocent faith she had cultivated over the years became her undoing when he died. In the end, it was that that destroyed her.

Eighteen years she had lived, only eighteen, and she was ready to end it. She had hardly anything left tying her to this planet. Naruto had been broken after the death of his best friend and never quite recovered. Sakura's own father and mother had been killed years ago when she had become a jounin and was placed on the hit lists of some powerful nins around the continent. Ino had died long ago on a failed group mission, and the regret still burned inside of her at the fact that they had never made up. Their silly rivalry over "Sasuke-kun" had never halted. And now it was too late.

Sakura sat on her knees in the hardwood floor of her apartment, kunai in hand, mulling carefully over the different ways she could put an end to her life. She hadn't told anyone; Naruto would not be able to stomach the thought, and suicide letters weren't her thing. As much as Sakura hated to do this to him, he would find out sooner or later. In fact, he was the only one left here that she cared about. Everyone else had departed from this world. She smiled lightly, and her fingers closed around the kunai. She had so much more to look forward to in the next world, where all the people she had lost would be waiting.

There were several different ways to do it, she knew, and felt oddly calm. _I could put the kunai through my heart or press it to my temple,_ she mused. Really, any physical would she created would be painful. But she had noticed lately that pain had stopped coming. She would only stare blankly at a wound caused on a mission and the blood that dripped from it, and could then simply heal herself and continue. Why was it that she could no longer feel pain? She supposed depression did that to you after a while.

Ultimately she decided to stop her own heart with a medical jutsu. Quick and effective. She wouldn't feel a thing. Slowly she began to make the seals she had learned from Tsunade so long ago. She had used this jutsu so many times during the war; never had she thought she would end up using it for her own purposes.

"Sakura-chan, STOP!"

Naruto burst into the apartment, the door actually flying off of its' hinges. Sakura's eyebrows lifted a little, surprised but unflinching. He had an odd knack for always knowing when something was going to happen to her. She wondered vaguely if he had ever signed a summoning contract with the birds to keep an eye on her; it would certainly explain his impeccable timing.

Naruto's eyes desperately found hers. He must have found a way to watch her. He knew exactly what she was trying to do.

Sakura smiled softly at him.

It was that moment that she completed the final seal and pressed her hand to her heart.

"NO!" Naruto screamed as he propelled himself forward, the desperation evident in his cracking voice.His boots slammed into the floor as he sprinted toward her, petrified that he would lose her after being so careful all this time. His now mature face was tight in terror, and his unzipped black jacket flapped as he ran. He could think of nothing but her. Nothing else mattered. The girl who was the only thing left that mattered in his life had just used her final heartbeat, and he was watching the life drain from her eyes.

Sakura began to slide sideways, and her lifeless body hit the floor.

_Step._

While Naruto ran, The Kyuubi stirred.

_Step. _

The Kyuubi bubbled with excitement.

_Step._

The nine-tailed demon inserted his claws into Naruto's stomach.

_Step._

And ever so slowly, he began to pry himself loose.

The fox could sense Naruto's weakness and knew that now was finally the time that the boy could no longer hold him back. Kami-sama knows he had been damaged enough by the death and destruction around him already. Naruto could not let Sakura dominate his thoughts and keep the demon inside him at bay at the same time. If the Kyuubi struck now, Naruto might just be unstable enough to break.

"SAVE HER!" Naruto's voice swept through him, strong and commanding, the force of it rattling the demon to his very core. "I don't care how you do it, just _save her_!" Chakra burst from his body and swirled around the room, Naruto using every bit of his power to issue his one command.

The demon froze, stunned by the unexpected display of might. The voice of his master was so great that the Kyuubi was driven to the ground, his head bent down and his chin hitting the cage floor. He had never expected this. Naruto's force of will was such that the Kyuubi could not fight, and had no choice but to bend to his will. Although even the nine-tailed demon had his limits…

The Kyuubi grinned. There was only one way to both obey Naruto's demand and obtain another chance to overpower his container. It would be a long fight, but he could win. He had underestimated Naruto's control. It seemed that age had perfected it, and the cracks that the Kyuubi had assumed he could infiltrate were in fact nonexistent.

All at once, the demon let out his own chakra in a great tidal wave, exploding from Naruto's skin and rattling Sakura's apartment on its foundation. For a few seconds it ran rampant, bouncing off the walls and consuming the air around them, mixing with Naruto's blue chakra.

_Save her. _Naruto's voice once again rang with unquestionable authority.

For the first time, the Kyuubi's voice answered him.

_You asked for it. _

The light that filled the room concentrated on the body of the girl before them. Sakura gave a great shudder as the chakra pierced her, invading her bloodstream and working its way to her heart. Naruto watched in horror as Sakura's body jerked, then with one great flash, it disappeared.

"Sakura-chan! _Sakura-chan!_"

"Sakura, honey, wake up," Sakura's mother said kindly as the warm smell of apple-cinnamon oatmeal drifted through the room.

Sakura's eyes snapped open.

"There you go." Ms. Haruno set the tray containing a bowl of oats and a glass of milk onto her nightstand. "Remember: today's Kunoichi Day! I'm so proud of you." Ms. Haruno bustled out of the room, and as she opened the door Sakura could hear the faint whirring of her washing machine carry upstairs to her room.

_I'd imagined the afterlife to be a bit different, _Sakura thought, puzzled as she sat up. Instead of puffy white clouds floating gently around her, she lay on a strikingly familiar white bed. The pillows were engulfed in her mother's scent, as well as a few other warming aromas she hadn't smelled in a very long time. _I guess it doesn't matter. I'm back where I always wanted to be. _

"_Remember: today's Kunoichi Day!" _Ms. Haruno's words finally caught up to her. Wait. That didn't make any sense. There were no holidays specifically celebrating female ninjas, were there? She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and stood up. No feeling of floating. Just as she had been before, she felt entirely human. Odd. She pinched herself and was amazed to feel the shoot of pain up her arm. She could feel pain in the afterlife. Huh.

Sakura glanced around. She was in her old room, the one she hadn't slept in since she was sixteen. Everything seemed just as it had been, and Sakura felt a warm tingly feeling spread through her chest. It took a moment for her to realize it was happiness.

The handmade rug she padded over on her way to the floor-length mirror felt just the same, and even had the tiny hole in the middle from where Sakura had tried to move a dresser over it once. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head.

When she glimpsed her reflection in the mirror, she yelped in surprise.

"Sakura, honey?" her mother scurried into the room. "What happened?"

"Er, um…" Sakura placed a hand on her chest to soothe her racing heart. "N-Nothing, Mom, I'm fine. I just…almost tripped."

Her mother's grow creased. "Well, try to be more careful, will you, dear? If you're going to be a kunoichi, you must be more graceful. I worry about you enough already. Why you decided to enter such a dangerous profession in the first place…"

"Hai, hai," Sakura said, waving her hand dismissively out of habit. Mrs. Haruno shot her daughter one last frustrated look.

"You be careful today, dear. And don't you say a word to that Naruto boy, you know he's trouble. You hear me?" Without waiting for an answer, she marched out of the room down the hall.

Sakura gazed back at her reflection, and took in the rounder features of her face and the lack of developed curves.

She was twelve again. But why?

_Kunoichi Day? _Could this be the day that she first became a genin? Her mother always did have odd names for things…

Her arm was still red. She had pinched herself hard. That certainly hadn't felt like she had expected.

Wait.

Her mother had mentioned Naruto. Like he was here. But that didn't make any sense—Naruto was still alive. Naruto was the only one still alive.

Was this really the afterlife?

Was she somehow, inexplicably, alive?

But nothing explained how she ended up like this. This was her old home, and she looked nothing like herself. It was like she had traveled back through time. But that was impossible! No jutsu she had ever known could send people back in time. Logically, if it were even possible at all, it would take a massive amount of chakra, and something with the ability…

_Naruto._

It was the faintest memory, like looking through a mist, but in her last moments she saw Naruto's chakra burst out of him, followed almost immediately by a rush of all-encompassing red. The most powerful creature to walk the earth was sealed inside of her best friend. If there was even a shred of possibility that this could be true, the Kyuubi would have the capacity. Its' chakra reserves were almost limitless.

Sakura's confusion settled down somewhat as her logical mind took over. In order for the demon to be sealed inside Naruto, it had to have the ability to fold space. Why not be able to fold time as well? Naruto had wanted so desperately to save her, but there was no getting back a life. So in order to do the impossible, the Kyuubi had split her soul from her dying body and flung them through time.

The result would be her waking up as her former, pre-depression self, still a twelve-year-old girl. But she could feel it; her enlarged chakra reserves flowed through her. Her chakra was so intertwined with her mind that it must have stayed intact during the journey.

But that meant…Sakura raced to her window. No damage from Orochimaru's attack lingered on the buildings surrounding her house. The sky was clear and beautiful, as opposed to the dark and blustery gray it had been for months before. And her mother was alive. Every one of the people she had seen die throughout her life would be here…waiting for her.

She didn't believe it for a second. It just couldn't be. But she had to know for sure.

Quickly she dressed in her standard outfit, that red thing she hadn't worn in years. Her very-much-missed long hair swayed behind her, having never bothered to grow it out again, and she tied it back into her standard ponytail without a second thought. When operating you never had your hair in your face. How had she managed this much hair as a child?

She flew down the stairs and bolted for the door, needing to see Naruto for herself. She was sure she'd find her answer in him. But first things first. If her mother was really, truly alive, then she hadn't seen her in years. Mrs. Haruno was severely startled when her daughter flung her arms around her. "Honey, you scared me." She patted Sakura's head lovingly at the gesture of affection. "Aw. I'm proud of you. But hurry up! You're going to be late! And don't forget to eat something!" Sakura grabbed a bagel from the toaster and held it between her teeth as she put on her shoes.

Mrs. Haruno beamed at her as her daughter dashed out the door.

She arrived at class much earlier than expected. Somehow she remembered the trip taking much longer than it did this time. Of course, back then she hadn't been jumping from roof to roof, the most efficient way to travel, instead hurtling toward the classroom with Ino on the ground. Weaving through buildings in a battle to get to Sasuke-kun before she did. Only a few others were present so far, waiting for the rest to slowly start filing into the room, ready to be assigned to teams. She caught a couple of the boys puffing out their chests and had to smile. Everyone thought they were so powerful now that they were genin. They were all so naïve back then, completely sheltered from the outside world.

Technically, she realized, she recalled everything from her "past life"—she was jounin status. Judging from the amount of chakra flowing though her veins, she contained the same amount that she had built up over the years.

She heard a shuffle of movement at the door, and her head rose. Uchiha Sasuke strode through the door, not bothering to close it behind him. He looked a little surprised to see her there, and she couldn't blame him. He was always first to class. Oh, and she happened to be standing right next to the door, about a foot away from him.

Scooting around her to give her a wide berth, he moved to the other side of the room and sat down in the seat furthest from her. His usual spot.

For a moment, all she could do was take in the sight of him. Sasuke was as beautiful as he was angsty; his dark eyes glared at the world, obscured by his raven hair so adored by the female population If there was an opposite expression for "seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses," he was that phrase personified. Now that she thought about it, Sasuke's popularity was a bit insane. He was getting hit on by women well over his age, even at twelve. _Tch. Cradle-robbers._

Sasuke was well aware that she was staring holes through him, and to make her stop his eyes shifted to meet hers. Usually she would look away hurriedly, flustered that she was caught, but she was far too transfixed at seeing him alive and breathing to care. She merely held his gaze, until a deep frown etched onto his features. His stare-down wasn't working. When she still didn't move, his expression changed to apathy and his eyes slid to the front of the room. Clearly intimidation didn't work on girls anymore.

"F-Forehead Girl!" a breathless voice exclaimed accusingly, and Yamanaka Ino stumbled through the door. "How dare you get here before me? You only did it to sit next to Sasuke-kun!"

Sakura watched her with wide eyes as her ex-best friend made her way over, and slowly the other classmates came through the door behind her.

FLASH.

_Ino lay in a pool of her own blood on the forest floor, her beautiful hair swirled in graceful circles around her head. Her brilliant blue eyes were opened, empty, the life sucked out of them, and Sakura could not stop her screams…_

Sakura gasped.

"Forehead, what's wrong with you?" Ino asked her. She waved her hand in front of Sakura's face annoyingly, calling "Earth to Forehead! Come on now!"

Sakura snapped out of her trance and gazed up at her. Her eyes saddened, and Ino lowered her hand.

"I'm sorry, Ino," she whispered.

"Eh? For what?"

"Sa-Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled excitedly as he stood up from his seat. She hadn't heard him enter the room over Ino's shouting. "Come sit over here!"

He had a large grin and an even larger blush, and Sakura froze. There he was. His unmistakable chakra signature glowed with happiness. Undeniable proof that this wasn't the afterlife.

What did this mean?

Furthermore, what the hell was she supposed to do now?

Before she could contemplate this too much, the inevitable guilt washed over her as she saw his innocently grinning face. The last time Naruto had seen her, she had taken her own life in front of him. She forced herself to smile at him; she at least owed him that much. _Heh. _She missed that outrageous orange outfit of his. It was really horrible.

"Sure, Naruto," she said quietly as she walked over to him. Predictably, Naruto's skin flushed a cherry red, as his crush had not only smiled at him, but had spoken to him and _acknowledged him. _He would be euphoric for days; there would be no dealing with him now.

"Sit between me and Sasuke, all right?" he asked, on the verge of hyperventilating from excitement. "That way I won't have to sit by him."

Immediately, the entire female population of the class was on its feet, glaring heatedly down at him. Sakura wordlessly sat down, watching as Naruto gulped in fear. Girls sure could be scary sometimes. As soon as he was certain that the fiery-tempered kunoichis wouldn't actually hurt him (yet), he leaped onto the desk and frowned at Sasuke in an attempt to stare him down. _What's so great about Sasuke anyway? _He asked himself as Sasuke glared back, and sparks of rivalry flew between them.

Sakura jumped upright. There was no erasing this memory from her mind. That nameless boy behind Naruto would knock him forward, and…she shuddered. One way or the other, she had to save both her future teammates the trauma. Neither of their first kisses would be stolen today.

"Naruto, no!" she shrieked, her hands thrusting forward and knocking poor Naruto forcefully off of the desk. The blonde boy's face unfortunately hit the wall, and he slid slowly down it, moaning. Sakura, halfway on top of the desk, stiffened. Turning her head ever so slightly to the left, she caught Sasuke's incredulous eye, and almost groaned out loud. He may as well have had a thought bubble above his head with the word "fangirl" in it. No matter what, she was going to have to live with the label. Great.

"Sakuraaa," a deadly voice growled from behind her. Sakura knew that voice, and it was daring her to turn around. Ino stood next to the desk, the dominant female amongst the crowd of faceless fangirls, cracking her knuckles. "How dare you make a move on Sasuke-kun…" Sakura gave a very Naruto-like yelp.

"Okay, class, in your seats!" Iruka bellowed over the buzz of disapproving murmurs. Whining, the twelve-year-old girls slowly trudged back to their seats. Sakura collapsed into her own, relieved. _I'm saved…_

Sakura wandered out of the classroom, and sat dazedly onto the concrete bench just outside the academy building. My, this spot had memories. It was almost like remembering a past life—and in a way, it was. She knew things that no one else in this time period knew.

It was real. It was all real. The wind swayed through the trees and a single leaf landed on her arm, the sensation yet another reminder. It was incredible…but possible.

Her mind reeled as she considered her predicament. Were there rules to this sort of thing? Do you change anything, or is everything supposed to stay the same? What happens to the people she knew in the future?

Could she save them all?

"Sakura-chan, want to have lunch with me?" Naruto piped up as he strode into view, interrupting her thoughts. "Since we're teammates now and all…"

Better not to change anything until she had things more figured out. And although it pained her, that included being her old self to Naruto. "Sorry, Naruto, not today," she said. Well, not completely. She just couldn't be rude to such an earnest boy.

"It's because of Sasuke, isn't it?" Naruto grumbled, crossing his arms. Sakura opened her mouth to deny it, but then paused.

"Yeah…" she said slowly as she nodded and cast her gaze to the ground, hating the way Naruto's face fell.

"I still don't see what's so great about him," Naruto muttered angrily, and stalked off. Sakura buried her face in her hands and breathed deeply. She would make it up to him later somehow.

Now that she had some time to herself…_Okay. Let's be thorough about this. _As far as she could tell, things couldn't get any worse than how they were when she left her broken life at Naruto's feet. So if she was careful, perhaps she could make changes for the better. She finally allowed herself to be excited at the prospect. She could change everything. She was a powerful jounin now. No one close to her would have to die, not when they had her to watch over them. Her healing skills were unsurpassed, and she had once created a fissure so deep with her enhanced strength that the earth-element users were unable to completely fix it. She could protect everyone.

She sat there silently as the minutes passed by in a blur, working through possible scenarios in which she could interfere until Sakura could no longer tell how much time had passed. When she finally rose her eyes from the cobblestones, she nearly fell off the bench.

Sasuke stared at her from across the road, his dark eyes smoldering. It was funny how years ago her heart would have skipped a beat at the sight of a gaze like that from him.

Her eyes suddenly narrowed. Years ago, she also would have been easily fooled by a simple bunshin. Thanks to Tsunade however, Naruto may as well have been wearing a paper mask.

"Naruto, what do you think you're doing?" Sakura asked tiredly, resting her back casually against the stone bench. Sasuke's image reddened, but eventually it twisted into a forced expression of confusion.

"Wh…what? I don't see Naruto around anywhere…" he said as he nervously fidgeted in a very un-Sasuke-like manner. Sakura smirked. No matter how much he aged, he never could act.

Raising her arms in an "X" position, she cried out, "Kai!" and Sasuke suddenly emitted a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, a guilty Naruto stood there, slightly cowering.

"Sakura-chaaan, how'd you know it was me?"

Sakura raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Your chakra is entirely different from Sasuke's," she explained. "Your signature is obvious."

Naruto scowled, puzzled. "I can't feel any chakra signatures," he admitted. He barely even knew what they were.

Sakura laughed. "Go home, Naruto." Still bewildered, Naruto ambled away, the confused tilt of his eyebrows still stuck in place. Sakura smiled after him.

"Oi," a prematurely deep, masculine voice called. Sakura turned. Ugh, could no one give her a moment to herself? Annoyed, she faced the real Sasuke as he stopped in front of her. "Have you seen Naruto?"

The girl fought back a grin. "I don't know," she lied, shrugging carelessly. Sasuke's face remained impassive as he continued his search.

"Oh, and Sasuke," Sakura added before Sasuke was completely out of earshot. Impatient, Sasuke glanced back over his shoulder. "When you do find him, tell him that he's not a very convincing bunshin."

For the first time, Sasuke showed surprise. Deciding he didn't even want to know how she knew, he disappeared from view.

Anticipation curled in Sakura's stomach. Her depressed mood had somewhat lifted, and now she was only apprehensive about the meeting with Kakashi later. She had the power to change whatever she wanted! If she played her cards right…

As only one person, Sakura wondered how much she could actually affect Konoha. What were the consequences of messing with the future? She ticked off just a few things to change, and vowed to set a plan as soon as possible.

_Stop Sasuke from ever going to Orochimaru._

_Prevent Naruto from ever feeling lonely._

_Not hit Naruto so much this time around._

_Not be the weakest at all…_

She knew, with her jounin skill level and Tsunade-strength, that she would not be the one standing in the background. They could watch _her _back.

AN: Promising beginning? Not? Let me know! Come on, you all know that you wanted to see a stronger, less childlike Sakura in the series. I don't intend for this to keep too closely to the storyline. If it was too predictable, there would be no point in reading, would there?


	2. The Bell Test

AN: Right. Classes just started again, pretty exciting. Except not.

If I Knew Then

Chapter Two

"All right," Kakashi started with a lazy sigh. "Tell me a little about yourselves."

Sakura had deemed it unnecessary to stop Naruto from pulling the eraser-in-the-door trick, and as such Naruto and Sasuke's lack of respect for him remained at its usual standard. She had to giggle a little as the moment arrived; there was no doubt that he would fall for it. So atypical of a supposedly elite jounin. Although looking back on it, perhaps he wanted them to think he was incompetent so he would look that much more badass when it came to a real fight. If there was one thing Kakashi knew, it was how to be impressive in improbable circumstances.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," the blonde piped up, raising a hand to his newly gained forehead protector in pride. "I like ramen!" A cheeky smile spread across his face like a squirrel that had just found someone else's stash of acorns. "I hate the time it takes for the ramen to cook, and my dream is to become the next Hokage and make everyone acknowledge me!"

"Hai, hai," Kakashi sighed again. He'd heard enough ambitious dreams of greatness in his lifetime. Kids were so tiring. "And you?"

Sakura looked up with a start, keenly aware of the color now unfurling across her cheeks. She had no idea what she had said last time.

"Erm," she said awkwardly. "I need more time to think. Sasuke can go first."

"Whatever." Kakashi turned an apathetic eye toward Sasuke. This boy had the air of a serious individual ready to begin his career, and he gave the impression that whatever goals he set he would see through to the end. Kakashi knew he was the last Uchiha; everyone knew of the disaster that had struck the boy at such a young age. He hoped that Sasuke might at least turn out to be less disappointing than the other two. Without a glance back at Kakashi, the dark boy spoke.

"Uchiha Sasuke. There are many things that I hate, and not a lot of things that I like," he drawled. He gazed dramatically off into space, the way only a slightly mad avenger could. "And my goal…is to kill a certain man."

Completely unable to stop herself, Sakura snorted.

She hadn't realized in her knee-deep crush how utterly drama-inclined her teammate could be. Sasuke turned incredulous eyes to her. She was laughing? Laughing at his _dream_? Who did this girl think she was? He searched her face, as though the answer would be obvious if he looked hard enough. Abruptly resuming a straight face, she chided herself. It really wasn't funny. Even more sobering was the reminder of the things he had done to achieve this goal.

"And you." Kakashi's voice cut through their thoughts.

"Oh. Right." Sakura's long-dead habit of fidgeting resurfaced, and she mentally slapped herself. No more mistakes. That would be her dream: to live this life without any of the results of the last.

"Okay. My name is Haruno Sakura." What had she said last time? …Whatever. She would have to improvise. "I like all sorts of things, really." Damn it. "And there aren't too many things I hate."

"C'mon, Sakura-chaaaan," Naruto whined. "Tell us _something _you like and don't like. You're not Kakashi-sensei."

Sakura stifled a laugh and bit her lip. "All right…well, I'd have to say…" _Sakura, think. _

Suddenly it popped into her mind. Of course. Just be honest.

"I love going out to eat, even if it's just ramen." Naruto let out a whoop of joy, and suddenly frowned, as though trying very hard to commit this new development to memory.

"I dislike…death." At Kakashi's curious glance, she laughed a little. "Ironic, I guess, considering I'm about to go into a business killing people." Her happy façade drained away as her last answer surfaced. "And my dream…well, I…"

Since when had she become so wishy-washy? Sakura cleared her throat, and steadied herself. It had been a long time since she had felt so vulnerable. And no one else was even aware of this fact. She knew that if anyone were to pay attention to her goal in the slightest, she would have to outdo Sasuke's flair for drama.

"I've seen the consequences of a job poorly done," she said, setting the mood. "I know how it feels when teammates die." Best not to elaborate on how she knew that. "My ultimate goal is to make sure none of my close friends die. Ever."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head, his only visible eye crinkled in awkward humor. He must have thought her dream was impossible. "That's a tall goal…"

"Don't worry," Sakura said firmly, determination swelling in her chest. "I'm willing to devote every waking moment I have toward making that happen."

Sasuke surreptitiously peeked at her from the corner of his eye, but said nothing.

The following morning passed in silence as the teammates reached the training grounds, the morning air much too chilly and humid to allow for much conversation. They were instructed not to eat—but of course, Sakura knew better. She knew what the "survival training" entailed. Not that she would tell the other two. This time would be used to test her skill against Kakashi, to see just how much she could accomplish with all of her old chakra still swirling inside of her.

"Yo."

"YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto shouted furiously at the new arrival. "We've been waiting for hours!"

"Sorry…" Kakashi chuckled. "I got—"

"Lost on the road of life, was it?" Sakura finished tiredly as she crossed her arms. Kakashi shot her a slightly surprised look. It quickly dimmed as he realized he had said this to probably half the village at some point.

"You have until twelve," he said, breezily ignoring her comment and producing an alarm clock out of nowhere. He set the clock on a nearby stump and pressed the alarm. "Your task is to get these from me." Two bells jingled happily from his fingers.

"But…" Sakura had to ask. It was only fair. "One of us won't get a bell, no matter how hard we try. There's only two."

"That's right. And the one who doesn't…" he shot them a deadpan look. "Gets no lunch."

Naruto leapt forward, glaring with an intensity that could match Sasuke on his worst day. "That's why you told us not to eat anything!"

"That's right," Kakashi replied cheerfully. "Not very bright, are you?"

"Sh-shut up!" Naruto suddenly launched himself at his instructor with every intent to take him down, several bunshins instantly at his side. Sakura blinked, and at once Naruto found himself and his newly-made clones flung into the river.

"Are you quite done?" asked Kakashi. Naruto muttered profanities as he crawled out of the freezing water, but said not another word to him.

"Now. Go." At once, Sakura and Sasuke disappeared.

_Now, all I have to do is stay hidden until Kakashi's dealt with Naruto and Sasuke, _Sakura thought. _Then I can confront him directly once the others are out of the way. But if I have to sit in this bush any longer, I'm going to go crazy._

The leaves of the bush _were _really scratchy. The afternoon _was _dragging on at a demented slug's pace, and any more waiting _would _be fruitless. She was getting one of those bells if it killed her.

_Screw this. _

Working her stiff muscles, she sprang out of her hiding place and into the clearing. Everything else could wait. Who cared whether Sasuke got to Kakashi after she did? All that mattered was that she face Kakashi alone.

"Sa…kura…" A weak, pained voice called to her from a nearby tree. Sakura turned, and spotted Sasuke's mangled body collapsed against a tree, blood pouring from several deep wounds. According to her mental assessment of him (gained from spending long hours in the medical office), he would die within a few minutes of blood loss. "Help me…"

Sakura nonchalantly took a kunai from her pouch, and in one swift movement flicked it at Sasuke's head. The bunshin disappeared in a puff of smoke, and she smirked. _As if Kakashi could pull off that one on me. But seriously. Was he trying to scar me for life? A bit overboard, don't you think?_

_Impressive, _Kakashi thought from his spot in the trees. _She saw right through the bunshin. _

_He couldn't have given me a more challenging threat? _Sakura asked herself angrily as she stormed off. It wasn't like that clone could have actually hurt her. What was it meant to accomplish?

Several minutes later, she stopped as she neared the next area. An earth-rattling yell sounded through the air, and the trees produced terrified birds as they flew off.

Sasuke.

Sakura broke into a run as she searched for him. What exactly had Kakashi done to him? How was he faring by himself? Was he making any progress?

She practically skidded to a stop as she caught sight of him. Tears of mirth gathered at the rims of her eyes as she surveyed him. Well…this was different.

Lord knows she hadn't expected to find only his head, the rest of him completely submerged underground.

"Saa…" she started, suddenly breathless. "Sasuke…you…!" Without warning, she dissolved into laughter. Sasuke scowled at her, his pride clearly taking a blow or two.

"You _can_ help me get out of here, you know," he told her, clearly disgusted with both himself and her reaction.

"No I can't!" She was in hysterics, clutching a stitch in her side. Sasuke winced.

"Sakura."

The sound of her name on his lips calmed her somewhat. He was clearly ticked, and so gradually Sakura forced her giggles to subside. "All right," she conceded. "Sorry. I'll help." She kneeled down in front of him, and set the pad of her index finger against the ground.

Sasuke's mind reeled as the ground suddenly broke around him, freeing him from his prison. Dust settled into his clothes as he scrambled out of the fresh hole, his eyes wide.

"What the hell kind of jutsu was that?" he asked her. Her triumphant smile faded. Surely she couldn't explain this away.

"Just…something I picked up," she said, vainly attempting to sound casual and nonchalant.

"Where did you learn that?" he persisted, traces of skepticism evident on his face.

Sakura heaved an impatient sigh. This was cutting into her time to fight Kakashi. "Look, I don't have time for this," she told him. "I'll talk to you later." In an instant, she vanished, leaving Sasuke to wonder just how she had done that, too.

_Kakashi-sensei…_Sakura pondered as she leapt from tree to tree. _Where are you?_

"Who are you looking for?" asked a bright voice from beside her.

She couldn't believe it. Kakashi was match her pace, tree for tree, as if he had been there the whole time. Really, had she learned nothing?

"Aaah!" Sakura cried out as she swung a kunai at him. In an instant he was in the air, dodging her attack and looking as unintimidated as though she had just swung a feather.

_This is it. _

They couldn't fight in the trees. Sakura knew he most likely had far more experience than she did at fighting in varying environments (he _was_ twice her age after all), and she wasn't willing to take any chances. Leaping quickly onto the ground, she waited for Kakashi to follow before she began.

She glared at him, her anticipation growing with each passing second.

"Come at me," she commanded.

Kakashi glanced at her, his hated Icha Icha book out as if they hadn't been about to start a battle. "I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"Argh, come at me!" Sakura screamed, completely frustrated. He was being difficult. She would battle him even if she had to tear his book in two to do it.

"And you think you have a chance of winning if I do?" Kakashi murmured as his attention span dwindled.

Sakura smirked. She raised her hand, and held up her index finger. "This is all I'll need," she told him confidently.

Kakashi sighed and set down his book. Kids really were too confident these days. It was no wonder Iruka constantly complained to him about his class.

"One finger, huh?" he asked her lazily. She thought for a moment. Now, she supposed, was not the time to get too cocky.

"Okay, one fist then," she corrected, her smile widening. "If I succeed with only one fist, I get both lunches."

"Both?" Now Kakashi appeared surprised.

Sakura screamed as he immediately vanished, and appeared locking her wrists behind her back.

"You're in no position to make bets," he said into her ear.

_You think so?_

Sakura channeled her chakra into her arms, satisfied that it all responded to her just as well in her smaller form. She began to struggle against him, pushing more and more chakra against him. Within seconds she had broken free of his grasp, spun around, and in one swift movement slammed her fist into the ground.

The resulting chaotic explosion shattered the ground with a loud crunch, her surroundings blurry as the ground rattled. _Take that. _She sped up to him, grasped his ankle, and with a twisting motion, yanked him down until the bells were within reach. She stretched her hand out, ready to grab one…

…when Kakashi's form burst into a puff of white smoke, a log in its' place. _Replacement technique! He must have just finished the hand seals. Damn! _Sakura cursed.

Kakashi breathed hard from his position in the trees, having narrowly escaped with his well-placed kawarimi, a trickle of sweat running down his face.

_What is she?_

Suddenly the alarm rang, loud and piercing, signaling the end of the test. Sakura straightened up, defeat washing over her. She didn't make it in time. She failed to get a bell. How could she have lagged for so long? _Stupid Sakura, _she berated herself. _If I had had more time…_

Naruto sulked as he stood tied against the center pole, watching enviously as the two lunches were handed to Sasuke and Sakura.

"I shouldn't even be giving you these," Kakashi told them after ten minutes of lecturing on teamwork. "All of you failed to get a bell. I should send you back to the academy."

"No, don't do that!" Naruto shouted at him. "We tried, we really tried!"

"We'll start again after lunch!" Kakashi said, silencing him. "If before that time either of you give Naruto any food, you _fail_." With a flash, Kakashi was gone.

Sakura stared at the spot where he had just departed in shock. She had made such an elementary mistake. A shinobi never waits until the last moment to attack. Lost moments are lives gone. How could she have failed to act quickly enough?

"Here, Naruto." Sakura silently handed him her lunch. She didn't deserve this.

"Wh…what?" he asked, dumbfounded. "You'll fail, won't you?"

"No," she said suddenly as a memory rushed back to her. "I won't. Sasuke, you give him some too."

"No." Sasuke resumed eating, indiscreetly shooting a scowl at her. "I'm not giving up my chance to progress just because the dobe needs food."

"But that's just it!" Sakura said exasperatedly. "We forgot teamwork. That's what Kakashi was looking for all along! And we completely blew it. Now the only way to redeem ourselves is to share what we've got, or we're finished."

Naruto stared at her, open-mouthed, before deciding that believing her was better than automatically being sent back to the academy. "Right, right!"

Sasuke looked at her, long and hard, for a moment, deciding to trust her. His frown deepened to a glare, but she wouldn't budge. What was with her and his failed intimidation tactics?

"Hn. Fine," he finally said, handing his lunch to the "dobe" while refusing to look at him. Naruto's jaw sagged further at this subtle demonstration of kindness—even if the motivation was a bit lacking. "But…I can't eat it…" He flexed his tied hands, and Sakura suppressed a smile.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," she said as she moved forward. "Open your mouth."

"You're going to f-feed me?" Naruto asked her, amazed. She nodded solemnly, her eyes shut.

She peeked at him. "Only this once, kay?"

He shot her a trademark Naruto grin, and she felt her stomach flutter. She hadn't seen him truly smile like that in so long.

"Sure!"

Sakura returned his smile with a light one of her own, and lifted the chopsticks.

"_You guys!_" The sky darkened, and clouds gathered as their sensei's booming voice carried over the training grounds. "I specifically told you not to feed him!" He frowned stonily down at them. Without warning, the wind blew sinisterly around him and the dark trees swayed. What had just been a peaceful, sunny day was now a swirling, menacing thunderstorm. Sakura would never understand how he did that. Some genjutsu, she guessed. Well, here was her chance…

"You said we needed to work together!" she cried out. "On a proper mission, if one isn't kept nourished our performance will suffer!" Did she use so many big words in her genin days before? "The three of us are one!"

"Three are one?" Kakashi asked the team suspiciously.

Desperately, Naruto cried, "Yeah! Yeah!" Sasuke simply nodded, but that was enough of an answer for him.

"Well, then…"

They held their breath.

"You pass."

_Thank Kami-sama._

That was close, Sakura decided as she walked home. Far too close. They were only a hair away from failing, and by some amazing stroke of luck (again), they had scraped by. One would think she had the answers to everything, having relived all of this once before. All of this insanity made a nice bowl of Ichiraku ramen with her old friends seem not so bad now. That is, if she could get them to go with her. Naruto would be simple. It was Sasuke that she would have to drag kicking and glaring.

"Sakura." She heard the masculine voice before she saw who it belonged to. Turning slightly, she regarded Kakashi in slight confusion. He was sitting on her couch, in her house, as though he belonged there. Where was her mother when she needed her? "Yes, sensei?"

"I wanted to talk with you." His relaxed position unnerved her somewhat, mostly because she could never guess what he was thinking. After all those years of knowing him, he still carried every bit as much mystery as before.

"Sure."

"Who taught you those skills?"

Sakura fell silent, her brain suddenly going into panic mode as she realized her greatest mistake.

She had shown off her skills like they were nothing. She was supposed to be twelve, to barely know enough to hold a kunai. And here she was, going around making craters in the earth for the world to see. What did she think would happen?

Alarm bells screamed in her mind. No one could find out about what had happened, no one! Who knew what would happen if someone did? Would people come to her asking about the future? What kind of calamity would that bring if they knew?

"It was just something I learned to do on my own," she lied. "I heard about ways to enhance your strength with chakra in a book, and since then I've been trying hard to achieve it." Kakashi listened carefully to her lie as though he were buying into her every word, but the downward tilt of his lips told her he wasn't.

"It takes years of practice under an accomplished teacher to master it," he said after a moment. He reclined on the couch and put his arms behind his head. "Very few people have ever learned how. It is not something you simply "pick up."" He stated this flatly, but she didn't miss the accusation in his voice. "Ready to come clean? A forbidden scroll, maybe?"

Sakura gasped. "You think I learned how illegally?" she managed to say.

"How else? I know for certain your family possesses no bloodline limit."

"I have exceptional chakra control. After reading up on the theory, all I had to do was make the connections and try through trial and error."

Kakashi scratched the stubble on his chin. He hadn't shaved that morning. "A likely story…if that technique you showed me didn't require such great chakra reserves. Reserves that shouldn't be possible for you to have right now."

There was no explaining that one, not without a bloodline limit (and her split personality known as Inner Sakura didn't count). As well as Sakura could think on her feet, her vast stores of knowledge provided no answer. In short, she was screwed.

Her teacher could know…he might possibly even be able to help her cover her tracks should anything happen. Perhaps it would benefit her to have an ally on her side. And if she knew Kakashi, he wasn't the type to exploit people. Well, unless it was to swindle them into paying the bill.

"Sensei…" she shook her head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"You just might not believe it…"

"You _have _mentioned that."

Well, all right. No getting out of it. _Here goes…_

AN: And so the story spills out. Will Kakashi buy it? I don't think there will be much SasuSaku or NaruSaku just yet, I still have to set the stage a bit. Plus they are twelve, after all. Review, please?


	3. Tripping Up

I was in a writing rut for a long time when college, work life, and the whole sudden storm of having to worry about bills and rent and all that terrifying stuff caught up to me. It's taken me a long time to come back to writing, and if any of you out there still follow Naruto or this story, I very much appreciate you taking the time to read. I've missed you guys.

If I Knew Then

Chapter Three

Kakashi blew out a sigh, long and slow, running a hand through his gravity-defying silver hair. By all appearances he might have aged twenty years. Here sat a delusional girl with improbable pink hair, spouting out conspiracies about Kyuubi powers and chakra splitting from the body and time travel. He put on his best "I'm listening attentively" face, but the downward tilt of her lips that conveyed her frustration said he wasn't fooling anyone. At one point she simply stopped in the middle of a sentence and merely looked at him, seemingly realizing she was getting nowhere.

He sighed again. "You know how this sounds. You sound like a mental case."

"I understand that," the girl replied immediately, looking at him with calm, level eyes.

He always got the crazy ones. Or the stupid ones. Every year, some idealistic kids would come up to him hoping to form a team, and all he would see were hopeless cases. Kids who would never be able to handle the gritty reality of combat, of death and loss. So he failed them, again and again, and they were either sent back to the academy or made to find more harmless professions, ones that wouldn't put them in the line of fire. But if he were being honest, it wasn't because the kids were weak. It was because he saw the innocence shining from their faces, bright and earnest, and he knew that when they entered the ninja world that would quickly be snuffed out. He hadn't yet met a pack of kids who he could bear to face that with. Now, this one wasn't stupid. From what he had heard she had top marks in her class at the academy. But apparently she had completely gone off the deep end.

Sakura gazed back at her old sensei's tired face impatiently, knowing he was just a hint away from carting her off to the mental wing of the hospital. The ultimate irony, considering she knew every employee in the ward from her days as the top medic. She had spelled out her story to Kakashi, as detailed as she possibly could, but it was just too incredible. And she couldn't blame him. Granted, some things a child shouldn't know, such as details of the Kyuubi's existence, but those were too easily explained away, perhaps from an adult who broke the unspoken code of silence. The rest would sound preposterous to any sane person's ears.

She wished she was talking to the old Kakashi. The Kakashi that knew her. The old one knew Sakura was a terrible liar. She could only be telling the truth. In fact, when under stress her lies came out shaky and had a question mark at the end as though asking permission to lie. To get herself out of it she usually resorted to telling the truth—a quality that never improved over time and irritated Tsunade to no end in deception training.

Her entire story had tumbled out, every single detail from her attempted suicide to the present. She had startled herself with the length of her story. Here she sat, twenty minutes from where she had started, pouring her heart out, and it hadn't made a bit of difference. If she got herself kicked off the team now, the entire course of history would be changed and she had no idea what would happen. So he had to believe her. It was the only option she had.

Kakashi sighed again, lifting a pale hand lazily to his forehead protector. In a sudden quick jerk he yanked it off of his head, and Sakura found herself staring into Sharingan. Kami, it had been so long since she had seen it.

"Then you know what this is?" he asked her, clearly intending to scare her. Any other child might have screamed; it was not well known what the Sharingan looked like, and children of her age weren't terribly known for their ability to research old textbooks. Sakura just stared at the glimmering red circle, feeling a pang of nostalgia.

"Of course," she replied without a moment's hesitation. "You possess an eye containing the Sharingan, an eye obtained from Uchiha Obito at the time of his death." Taken aback, Kakashi's eyebrows rose a fraction, but he showed no other sign that she had caught him by surprise. Silently he secured the forehead protector back into place, his eyes transfixed on her.

"However," she continued. "Your eye has been used too much for long periods of time. It's starting to become strained. I could possibly restore it—" she instinctively reached out a hand to analyze the damage, and Kakashi swatted it away, obviously taken aback and looking at her as though she were trying to scramble his brain.

She frowned. "It's just as well. I don't know whether I have complete control over my chakra just yet, given that my chakra pathways are smaller now." She noticed this did not comfort him. Perhaps she really would have scrambled his brain.

He looked at her, long and hard, certain she was crazy. But within the solid gaze was just a glint of doubt. That was something. She would have to ramp it up if she were going to truly get his attention.

"Sensei, I realize this is a lot to swallow. But you can ask me anything. If you need me to show you a jutsu, I'll happily meet you at the training grounds. If you want to test my knowledge, please, ask any question you can think of."

She could see him deliberating, deciding if he should entertain her claim for a while. She saw the light bulb over his head when an already unanswered question came to the front of his memory.

"That display of strength at the bell test," he started, and she knew where this was going. "There are only a few people in the world who know how to harness their chakra like that. Tell me who taught you."

"I studied under Tsunade-sama for five years, sensei," she promptly replied.

His retort was swift. "She wouldn't return to Konoha unless forced. How could you possibly have trained with her?"

She mulled her response over in her mind, trying to find the most gentle way to answer. In the end she decided it didn't matter; Kakashi was never one for sugarcoating.

"Kakashi-sensei…Sarutobi-sama dies this year." She noted the quick rise of his eyebrows and took that as a good sign. "Tsunade-sama was convinced to take on our village as the next leader. Funny enough, it was Naruto that did the convincing. He becomes quite a force of nature when he grows up. Don't discount him just yet."

She read his thoughts as they scrolled through his head. The yellow-haired boy, he would recall. He could convince Tsunade-sama when no one else had succeeded before him? That had to be made up. Sakura found herself pressing forward before he could formulate a rebuttal.

"Sensei, you have to keep our team together. Naruto, while he has a wonderful heart, needs guidance that only you can provide. The seal that contains the Kyuubi is weakening, and it's only through the bonds that he forms on this team that keeps the demon under control. Even then, sometimes it leaks out, one tail at a time. If we weren't around him to keep him safe from himself, he could potentially level the village."

Kakashi went still as her words registered, then attempted to brush it off as though this were old news, leaning casually back into the couch cushion. "We already have ANBU watching him at all times."

"That's not going to help. But I know him, I can watch over him. And once we all become good friends, and you decide to accept him—and you _must,_" she said forcefully, "you can call off the ANBU. He will be able to control it himself, for the most part, even utilize it when he can't manage on his own. He might sound just like any other kid, talking all big right now, but if the village hadn't—" she cut herself off, and swallowed. The pain she had forced down earlier was threatening to make a reappearance. She shoved it away.

"He would have been Hokage," she whispered.

Kakashi was no Morino Ibiki, but he was an expert in deception and body language. His quick eye caught the freeze in her shoulders, and the way she lowered her chin as though fighting back deep emotion, and he heard the desperation in her voice. Sakura saw him perk up slightly at her outburst, and knew she had said too much.

"If the village hadn't what?" he asked softly. Delusional or not, this was clearly a touchy subject for her and he would tread carefully.

Sakura's hands shook, and she took a deep breath to steady them. She wasn't ready to think about her past just yet. She was barely keeping it together seeing all of her dead friends today. And now he wanted her to turn around and face it all at once?

Another breath.

Just like that, it hit her. The simple question opened the floodgates containing painful memories she had fought so hard to keep concealed, beating her mind with a barrage of recovered images. Suddenly she could not breathe.

_The Hokage's death._

_The attack on the village._

_The death of her parents._

_The night everything changed._

"_Sakura…thank you."_

"_We _will _bring him back no matter what!"_

"_Sakura, STOP!"_

"Aah!" Sakura whimpered as her head pounded. Kakashi watched, startled, as she doubled over trembling, leaning forward so far she almost toppled off of the couch. He grasped her arm before she fell to the floor and raised her up to sit next to him. Lacking the strength and control over herself to keep herself upright, she fell against him, a fresh wave of sobs wracking her body. All of her carefully polished restraint over her emotions came crumbling down inside the heart of a twelve-year-old.

"I couldn't save any of them!" Sakura choked out as her tears soaked into the collar of her shirt. "I tried so hard to get stronger, trained nonstop for years, became the best medic this village had, and in the end I did _nothing!_" Kakashi felt her small fist as it struck his vest, but instead of hitting him again it remained there clutching at the fabric. "I couldn't do anything…the village just crumbled, and everyone…everyone died. Everyone but Naruto and me. And a few people who fled. I don't even know how I survived myself."

For a few minutes Kakashi simply held her there like the sensei she needed, and let her cry, settling a gentle hand on her back in awkward comfort. At any rate, the girl believed what she was saying. Despite every logical cell in his brain crying out in denial, that massively destructive move she had pulled out during the bell test had sparked his curiosity. Tsunade certainly could have taught her, but someone pulling the woman from her own depression, drunkenness and gambling addiction was a feat he believed no one could accomplish. This girl had extensive knowledge of the Kyuubi, mastery of her own chakra, and even had knowledge of his own Sharingan. He felt the strain in his eye that she had spoken of. And he knew for a fact that that particular side effect went undocumented in any textbook she would find at the library.

"You said you could heal. That you were one of the best."

She hiccupped once, but a smile was on her lips. "The best," she said with a small trace of pride.

She knew what he wanted. He wanted her to show him. Well, she would give him two demonstrations. Concentrating her chakra to just the surface of her skin, she focused it to the outer edge of her right hand, all the way down to her pinky finger and extending over the other fingers. Then she tightened it, and it formed into a small but effective chakra blade.

Kakashi watched, amazed, as she ran the blade down the length of her upper left arm. Blood ran down and hit her dress, blending into the red fabric, but she didn't seem to care. Then, fluidly, the blade changed into healing green chakra that flowed across her open palm, and she passed her hand over the wound.

Now Kakashi had avoided hospitals all his life, hating the perfectly sterile rooms and the sick people wheeled around in the hallways. He could get by just fine on his own, thank you. After all, all wounds healed eventually if you bandaged them up and left them alone long enough.

But he had been there a few times in his life, once to treat a large gash in his thigh from an enemy's katana. The healer at the hospital had been gracious and thorough, and the work had taken almost thirty minutes. Even though she was very accomplished, the healer still left a faint scar twenty centimeters long that he had to this day.

Watching Sakura heal herself was nothing short of a miracle. No one her age could possibly have the knowledge, the control, hell, the _focus_ to pull off such an efficient healing. Yet she was done in less than a minute, the skin a clear cream color, perfectly unblemished.

If he hadn't seen it for himself, he would have thought her insane.

And it was this small miracle coupled with the dead serious gaze she now gave him even though tears were still running down her face that gently tipped the scale. Just for a second, only a moment, he allowed himself to try believing.

When Sakura lowered her hand, Kakashi took her by the shoulders. "How old are you, Sakura?"

She sniffled as she swiped her fingers across her red-rimmed eyes. "I'm twelve, sensei."

"No, I meant how old are you…" he struggled for a word.

"O-oh!" Her eyes grew wide as the anguished twitching in her shoulders subsided, and he saw the hope there. "I'm eighteen," she whispered. "I'm a jounin-level medic-nin, worked directly under Tsunade-sama, and it seems that through all of this I still have the same chakra levels as before." She wiped her nose with her sleeve, clearly embarrassed to look such a mess. "My theory is that my chakra pathways are bound to my soul, so when I traveled to the past, my larger chakra stores went with me."

His grip on her shoulders released, and Kakashi's head spun. There was no possible way. Well, perhaps there was. They were discovering new hidden jutsus every day. But a time-traveling jutsu? How was that possible? Could the Kyuubi really have that kind of power?

He needed confirmation. There was just too much to suggest that her story was laughable. But he had to know. "I will have more questions for you. If what you're telling me is at all possible, it will take some time for me to process this."

Sakura cleared her throat, frowning in an attempt to reclaim her lost dignity. Top medic-nins didn't _cry, _for Kami-sama's sake. "I would hope so. You are the only person I could possibly tell; anyone else would misuse what I know about the future. You cannot tell _anyone_."

He stalled for a second, and she knew he intended to do just that—run to the Hokage to report what had just occurred. "No!" she urged, grasping his hands. He just barely refrained from pulling them out of her grasp. "If history is changed far too soon in the beginning, I won't be able to tell what will happen next. I'll be going in blind, and if I'm going to change anything for the good I have to know what will happen."

Kakashi opened his mouth to protest, then shut it again. Assuming any of it was true—he had to reserve some doubt after all—her reasoning was solid.

"And what exactly do you hope to achieve then?" he asked, purely out of curiosity.

She looked at him with that same steely determination he had seen when they had exchanged introductions and shared their goals, and he had his answer. "Well, isn't it obvious? I've seen nearly everyone I've ever cared about killed, countless people right before my eyes and some even directly because of my actions. I have my theories on how I was sent back to this particular point in time, but I can't just let it all happen again. I couldn't bear it a second time." Her gaze lowered to the floorboards.

Kakashi was never one to be especially curious; after all, curiosity killed the cat, and he had grown rather fond of that old cat. But he had to ask.

"Did I die as well?"

Sakura had to blink quite a few times, but this time she managed to keep herself in check. She was strong. All of those years of toughening up after Sasuke's capture and death had not gone to waste.

"Yes. Yes, you did," she breathed. "There weren't many left by the end."

Kakashi regarded her carefully, as if she were a particularly difficult jutsu to copy. He had every reason to dismiss this petite girl before him, with a head of vibrant pink hair that begged not to be taken seriously. However, the defiant expression stood out from underneath her bubblegum strands, and he was forced to take a second look. There was something…_older _about that kind of expression; a kind of world-weary attitude that only came with years of battle. His expression now held compassion; no one understood seeing that kind of death over and over again quite like he did.

"Well." He stood up from the couch, getting ready to leave. This was too much all at once, and he needed to think. He still wasn't sure if he could really believe any of it. "I have things to attend to, books to read, plants to water…" She looked crushed for a moment, and he let out a long breath.

"Sakura…if any of this is correct…you may end up being very useful to this team."

Sakura's head snapped up to look at him, hardly daring to believe that he might accept what she had told him, but he was already out the door, swift and silent.

Somehow, after all those years of feeling useless, those words meant the world to her.

_So…Kakashi knows everything now, _Sakura thought after her sensei left as she attempted to organize her racing mind. _Well, of course not everything. But h__e might possibly be able to cover for me if something happens. That's all I can ask for._

Everyone would want to know what would happen to them in the future. She could hear their voices now. Naruto would insist over and over again that he'd beat fate and become the future Hokage. Ino would of course demand to know what kind of man she snagged, and just how much more attractive she became at eighteen. _"So, I was a gorgeous kunoichi, right, Sakura? How did I look?" "Um, dead. Pretty much sums it up there."_ Somehow the conversation didn't play out very well in her head.

And Sasuke…Sakura was afraid for him the most. If he knew the lengths he went to find and kill his brother, it would shock him. He wouldn't be able to wrap his mind around all of the things that he went through. But once he accepted it…Sakura was sure he would do the same damn thing he did last time. It had worked then, didn't it? He had accomplished his goal. Losing his own life in the process didn't matter. Perhaps he would grill her for the specifics, believing that armed with this knowledge he could escape the same fate this time. His arrogance would lead right to his death again.

There was no way Sakura was going to let him throw away his life a second time.

Sakura ultimately decided to lay low for the time being as they started their training, careful to keep herself in check and not reveal anything beyond the normal range of a twelve-year-old girl. Her heart would jump each time Naruto broke a bone or Sasuke received a scrape from sparring with Kakashi, and had to fight the nearly irresistible urge to heal them on the spot, Naruto especially before his rapid healing caused his bones to set incorrectly. Instead she clucked about them like a mother hen and immediately sent them to the hospital. Fortunately this was only necessary a couple of times, as sending Naruto was just for show, as he was always magically fine after an hour of a bone being broken. She had to laugh awkwardly and state loudly that it must have only been a sprain in the first place before anyone could run a chakra analysis.

The training was boring and tiresome to her, having to relearn the things she had perfected years before. She was a jounin—and as such, it felt a little ridiculous. Kakashi often pitted the three against each other in no-chakra sparring sessions, and it made her positively squirm knowing she couldn't unleash even a bit of the strength lurking just beneath her chakra tunnels. Without it, her taijutsu was still pretty good, but they had cut off her main source of power. Still, she was good enough to take down Sasuke fairly easily. She merely parried every single attack he threw at her, allowing him a hit or two to boost his confidence, and then finally she would send one punch into his gut and he would go down, doubling over as the wind was knocked out of him.

She had to giggle at the face Sasuke made as he hit the ground time and again. Wide-eyed and frustrated to no end, she could see the mental war raging inside his mind, and felt just a tiny bit of sympathy. He beat himself up over the smallest things. Even at twelve he had astonishing speed, as good as anyone at her level. Had she not trained with him so many times in the past, she might not have been able to keep up. But she had, and after being humiliated by him so many times (the Uchiha wasn't big on showing mercy, even in sparring), she couldn't resist besting him again and again. Petty revenge.

Naruto was of course much easier to beat, having raw strength but no focus and no direction. She was happy to see that he learned from her, though, even though he told her he really didn't want to hit a girl. She showed him a few grappling moves in secret after the others had gone home, and Sakura saw Naruto gleefully put Sasuke in an unexpected headlock the next day.

Thanks to her increased skill, the boys were learning much more quickly. She couldn't bring herself to feel worried that they were advancing faster than they had the first time around. After all, if it made them into a better team, she would need that later on, wouldn't she?

Before she knew it a month had passed by, a month of playing this game. For a while it was comforting, sliding into an old routine where the most she had to worry about that day was keeping her chakra in check. Every day she would get up, train hard, then go home and hug her parents and sit down to a home-cooked meal. It was heaven, and she felt her old wounds begin to close up. She would never fully heal, and she didn't want to if it meant not keeping a sharp eye on the moment things needed to be changed. But for now it was peaceful, and she basked in it.

Later, another problem surfaced. She hadn't fully trained in her new body at all to test her limits. Her skills would turn as rusty as an old swingset if she didn't work them, but she had no time during the day to steal away to an empty training ground for fear of being discovered. So when Kakashi declared one day a day off to rest, she knew exactly where she was going. Kakashi never took days off, so his decision was obvious to her. His doubts were greatly diminished, especially after seeing her sparring so easily with Sasuke, but there were some things he still had to see for himself.

"Go train," he said quietly as he passed by her to leave. "I know you're itching to."

_Damn right._

The training grounds were blissfully clear that morning, with nothing but the cool silent air to greet her as she arrived. The morning sun filtered gently through the trees, and although the grounds were empty there was motion everywhere, in the rustling leaves on the branches above her and in the quick darting of the bluebirds in the bushes. Sakura allowed herself a small grin. This would always be one of her favorite places.

She prepared herself to start, but then halted. Really, he gave her no credit.

Kakashi was actually using all of his stealth techniques to try to follow her undetected.

_Whatever. _It made no difference to her. The natural show-off in her couldn't help parading in front of him a little. She wouldn't tell him outright that she knew he was watching, but he would find out soon enough anyway.

She leaped forward, ten kunais drawn out at once and hanging relaxed from her fingers. In a graceful twirl she released them all; they hit all five of the closest trees, two kunais embedded in each. Good, her coordination was as good as ever.

Kami, it felt good to release her chakra. Over and over again she attacked trees one at a time with every basic jutsu she knew, starting off with simple water and fire jutsus and gradually building until the helpless trees began to show the strain of her attacks.

Unable to stop herself, Sakura released the _Katon no jutsu _and completely engulfed one tree in flames within seconds. The blast of heat pricked her skin with sweat, and she reveled in the release of her power.

The trouble with setting such a massive fire jutsu on very flammable trees was that it attracted attention like nothing else. Kakashi noticed with alarm that the fire was quickly spreading to nearby trees, crackling and filling the clear sky with curling smoke. What on earth did she think she was doing?

_This is just for you, Kakashi-sensei, _Sakura thought with a slow smirk. Confidently she summoned water to engulf the area, and it rose up from a reserve underground and splashed onto the forest floor, swirling around her ankles and filling the dirty area with brown water.

Kakashi watched, perched atop a high branch some distance away. She knew he recognized the rapid hand seals she now made, his Sharingan surely out to more closely watch her.

_She isn't…_

She was.

A single twister of water rose from the center of the pool, gaining in height in width until it began to curve gracefully in the air in a delicate arc. Twisting and angry, the form writhed until finally Sakura directed it at the fire now beginning to catch on adjacent trees. Shocked, Kakashi stared as the water dragon he was so fond of using, the first technique she had ever seen from him, collided with the fire and chasing down the spreading tendrils, effectively dousing it entirely. Too transfixed to move, Kakashi barely even noticed when a stray bit of water reached his hiding spot in the tree and splashed him in the face.

If he didn't believe her by now, there was no ignoring this.

She continued training for a few hours more, this time focusing on her genjutsu and stretching the limits of chakra that could be used at once and also testing her precision control. She felt his presence leave halfway through, and smiled to herself.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Come on, old man, all you're giving us is stupid, boring missions!" Naruto whined loudly as he stomped a foot to the ground in emphasis. "We're not kids anymore!"

"You're still the same height-challenged brat as you were months ago, kid," Sarutobi declared from behind his desk in his office. His old academy teacher Umino Iruka scowled at Naruto from across the table.

Sakura took note of the place as being very different than she remembered. That wasn't a big surprise, considering Tsunade had had a tendency to destroy parts of the office when in her drunken rages. Everything in the room had been replaced at least twice, most knickknacks and priceless vases never reappearing. Even the Hokage's chair had been damaged beyond repair once when a team of ANBU sent to the Fire Country's border had turned up dead. She had set the thing on fire.

Naruto drew himself up to his full height (which still wasn't much) and puffed out his chest. "We deserve better missions than this! All we do is babysit and chase stupid cats! Choose something else!" His voice was loud and demanding, and Sakura winced. He was really going to get it now.

For his efforts, Naruto received an earful from Iruka and a wallop to the head from Kakashi, a physical warning to be respectful in the presence of the Hokage. Then they were all treated to a lecture from Sarutobi regarding the mission ranks, and why Naruto was still stuck fetching groceries. Fortunately the boy was far too busy being distracted thinking about ramen to pout, a fact that earned him another shouting from his superiors.

"Hey, hey! I'm different now! I'm not the same little kid who used to pull pranks all the time!" he insisted. "I worked hard for this!"

The tiniest of smiles worked its' way onto the Hokage's lips. Sakura knew he had a soft spot for Naruto, and recognized that in his own way, the kid was trying. Perhaps he had earned his way up. Just a little.

"All right, maybe it's time for something a little more challenging," Sarutobi pretended to grumble. "Just one C-rank mission. Then we'll see how you do. One escort mission."

The excitement emanating from Naruto was palpable. The blonde jumped into the air, his face shining like a beacon. "Really? Then who is it? Are we taking a lord, or a princess?"

The Hokage waved his hand. "All right, all right, calm down. Send him in."

The doors behind the group opened, and a drunken, grizzly man stumbled in, a grumpy frown on his face as he set eyes on the diminutive children in front of him. He took three swigs of a suspicious-looking liquid in a bottle and glared at them. The Hokage had planned to give them the mission the whole time, Sakura realized. Why else would this guy be so conveniently waiting out in the hall for them?

"Seriously? The little spiky-haired brat is my guide? Is this short thing really a ninja?"

It only took one hand for Kakashi to hold Naruto back as he declared that he was going to kill the very man they were supposed to escort to safety. Sakura and Sasuke sighed, Sakura hiding her giggle behind her hand.

The man had introduced himself as Tazuna, and he and Naruto hated each other at first sight. Their constant bickering was driving Sakura to madness on the journey to the Wave country, with Tazuna's incessant use of the word "brat" and Naruto's endless assurances that once he became Hokage one day he would kick this guy's ass.

Sasuke showed a respectable amount of patience, or perhaps he was just very talented at tuning them out. Sakura for one didn't know how he did it. She was going to smack Naruto upside his little head if he didn't shut up soon. She had forgotten just how much energy twelve-year-old Naruto possessed. It would never end.

Now her memory of this mission was a little spotty. Granted it was their very first one, so she knew it much better than the many that followed, but she realized the importance of keeping her memory as sharp as possible. She would probably have to write out all the details somehow. Fortunately, she had thought of this before they had left on their journey and kept a leather-bound journal in her pack just for this. She pulled it out now and retrieved a pencil.

She wasn't stupid. She knew the journal could fall into the wrong hands and that would be the end of her secret. But she had a method of protection: a simple, one-handed jutsu would wipe the words of the journal blank, locked by her chakra. Only her chakra could unlock it. She would do this after each entry, and if anyone ever encountered the book, they would find nothing but blank pages. If her team ever asked about it, she could giggle and tell them her diary was a secret.

_Mission One_, she wrote.

_Journey to the Wave country to protect Tazuna-san, a bridge-builder, from enemies while he completes his project. Sometime along the journey there we are attacked by ninja with chains, and soon after encounter nins named Haku and Zabuza._

She wasn't perfectly clear on when or how they would appear, so this would have to make do for now. One thing she did remember: Zabuza wasn't entirely an evil man. And Haku's only crime was owing a debt to someone who had saved his life. She knew she shouldn't change too much, but she did make a promise. She was going to stop her precious people from dying. But all of human life is precious. Shouldn't that include people who aren't necessarily on the same side?

She vowed right then to try to do what she could to save their lives. Attempts One and Two.

She was so engrossed in her journal that it took her a second to feel the malicious intent permeate the air. Someone was here! She sent a pulse of chakra outward from her body, and it collided with another's directly behind the group. There.

Without even thinking, she took a kunai and threw it with her full chakra-enhanced force at her target's head. In an instant, it had pierced the intruder's skull, a tall figure wearing a long black cloak, and he crumpled in a heap to the ground. A second opponent was next to him, temporarily stunned by the quick death of his accomplice, but he recovered quickly and raised strange weapons from his body, what looked like a long chain of razors that he flung out like a rope. He aimed for Kakashi, but Sakura was quicker. Leaping gracefully into the air, she vaulted over the chain while twisting in midair and stabbed her kunai directly beneath her, pinning the chain to the ground in its' middle.

Immediately, Kakashi swept in and took over, delivering one blow to the head and effortlessly knocking her opponent unconscious. After a brief struggle the enemy sagged, and Kakashi caught him with one arm. He gave Sakura a sharp look, one filled with warning, before he hoisted up the body onto his shoulder. Carefully he set the man against a tree and bound him there to interrogate him when he woke.

Silence filled the clearing.

Sakura froze in shock as the reality of what she had done sunk in. She, supposedly a fresh genin from the academy, had just skillfully killed a man without emotion by a direct hit to the brain. No one of their level should have been able to do that. These men, though dependent on the element of surprise, had to be at least B-rank.

The one thing she was supposed to do at the moment was _not_ reveal her skills. She had reacted instinctively, and now a man lay dead on the ground. What did she do last time? She racked her brain, but the details were fuzzy. She knew Kakashi had stopped them, but…oh, right. She had moved to protect Tazuna, and Sasuke had as well, then Kakashi waited until the last minute to save them. Kakashi must have known long before she did that these men were waiting in ambush. Had she been paying attention, she would have realized this and known that he had deliberately waited. This was a test, an experiment to see how his team would react in the face of immediate danger.

Well, she had just failed that. She was supposed to step in front of Tazuna, nothing more. Now that a man was dead, and it was her fault, she supposed a genin should be bursting into tears and losing her grip in this moment. From the look Kakashi gave her, yes. She needed to act.

Crap. She was always horrible at acting. And lying.

"Kakaaaaashi-senseiiii!" she wailed, sinking to her knees and plopping onto the ground. "I can't believe…I don't know—what happened! Waaahhh!" Naruto and Sasuke, who had stood frozen during the last ten seconds when all of this had occurred, finally seemed to gather themselves.

"Sasuke, did you see that?" Naruto exclaimed, his voice going very high. "Sakura just killed that guy! He came out of nowhere! And she was like—" he hit his fist with his other palm, "Bam! Took him out!"

Sasuke wasn't listening. He had quickly recovered from the shock and was narrowing his eyes at her, trying to see something in her that explained what she did. She realized belatedly that he would have had to have noticed her at least a little back at the academy, fawning over him like she did. And now she was a cold-blooded killer. She pretended not to see him, as overcome as she was in her terror and grief, and bawled some more.

"Sasuke, seriously!" Naruto said. "That guy almost killed us, and he went for Kakashi-sensei, but she was all—"

"Now, now, everyone, calm down," said Kakashi in a soothing voice.

"Shut up, Naruto," ordered Sasuke.

"I—was—so—scaaaaared!" hiccupped Sakura.

"It was just so cool! But what are we supposed to do with him now?"

"All of you, settle down…"

"Naruto, _shut up!_"

"I can't believe—just—totally by accident—wahhhhh!"

"All right, ALL OF YOU!" Kakashi roared, interrupting each of them.

"Now," he continued, brushing off his jounin vest from where his unconscious opponent had been, "It's obvious you've all been through a traumatic experience."

Having decided that enough was enough on the crying, Sakura glanced at the other two. Naruto seemed to be having some sort of internal conflict, most likely berating himself on the fact that he didn't do anything when the evil men showed up. Sasuke was now looking at Kakashi, his suspicion of her all but gone. She was a little affronted until she realized the tears and the sobbing probably weren't all that out of character for her twelve-year-old self. He must have come to the conclusion that she had gotten a lucky hit with the first one. Her pinning the chain to the ground was something else, but she was sure he would have been able to do the same had he been closer when it happened.

Even so, when his eyes flickered over to her while Kakashi attempted to smooth things over, he was looking at her with a newfound respect. While Sakura felt she should have enjoyed that moment, all she could really feel was a fear that he would find her out.

She would have to be much more careful from now on.

Unfortunately they hadn't gleaned much from the surviving enemy when he awoke, only that they had been targeting Tazuna and hadn't expected a group of ninja to be with him. Immediately after, he released a suicide jutsu, and was gone before Kakashi could attempt to stop him. Kakashi sent out a dog summon to alert Konoha of the bodies, and that was that. Sakura tied not to think too much about how Naruto and Sasuke had been affected by the fight, or she would drive herself crazy with worry. It would all sort itself out, she was sure.

Tazuna had some explaining to do on the boat ride to Tazuna's home, an island populated by a small village. He described his situation where the evil billionaire Gatoh was after his life, wanting to halt construction of the bridge. The other three listened intently, but Sakura had heard it all before. Instead she turned her attention to her journal again, and focused on remembering what came next.

_For Zabuza and Haku, I must not interfere. Despite Naruto and Sasuke's injuries, neither are ever in mortal danger, as Haku is holding back as much as he can from killing them. This is the first fight where Naruto and Sasuke work together, and they need to form a bond._

"…but don't worry, if I'm killed you shouldn't feel bad. My cute eight-year-old grandson will only cry and cry and cry. And my daughter will live a lonely life and hate Konoha ninja."

That did it. Sakura snapped the book shut and slammed a palm on her seat. "So you would rather us, twelve-year-old kids, die for _you, _who lied to us and put us in a situation far over our heads? How dare you!"

Tazuna had the grace to look a little embarrassed, but she noticed he couldn't help but defend himself.

"From what I saw you handled yourself just fine back there—"

"That was a lucky hit!" Sakura interjected hurriedly. "I could have died! All of us could have died! You don't feel guilty about that at all, do you?"

"You see, we don't have much money, we're a very poor country, and couldn't afford a higher-ranked mission…"

Sakura opened her mouth to give him a further piece of her mind, but thankfully Kakashi stepped in.

"That's enough now. Tazuna-san, we will continue to escort you, out of goodwill. But from now on we will need full disclosure. Do not leave anything out again."

Tazuna bowed his head. "Of course, Kakashi-san."

Sakura was about to grin in satisfaction when out of the corner of her eye she saw Tazuna make a gesture behind his back. A peace sign. A silent, 'I win.'

_Why that cheeky little—no. This is not how we conduct ourselves. I have inner peace. Whoosah._ She felt a little frustrated that her quick temper had never been more controlled over the years, but then Tsunade hadn't exactly led by example. In fact, after one too many nights at the office where a failed mission ended up with terminated soldiers, she had joined a few of her mentor's drinking binges. She was sure Tsunade had even handed her a couple of small items in the office to throw around to abate her anger.

Yes, come to think of it, it was a surprise that she wasn't actually worse than before.

It was probably best to distract herself until the rage went away. Quickly she flipped open her journal and forced herself to concentrate on the next portion. What else was significant about the battle at the bridge…oh!

_Sasuke's Sharingan is awoken during the final battle with Haku, _she wrote. _Protect Tazuna and aid Kakashi. Stay out of Naruto and Sasuke's fight._

There. Simple enough.

Now if only she could follow her own instructions.

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AN: Thanks everyone for reading! I'm going to try to get back into writing, although when you're not quite feeling the passion for writing you once had, it can be very hard. For now, I'm forcing myself to write even though I feel like I'm totally rusty. But I'm happy with the end result, and that's what counts, right? Looking forward to your thoughts!


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